Need

I need it hard. I need to be fucked hard, slammed into. I need to turn up the volume on the stereo as loud as it will go so that the hard rock throbs inside my temples. I need to get on an open stretch of highway and see how high I can push the needle on that speedometer, both hands on the wheel, 90, 100, 120, 130, faster. I need to chain smoke. I need to shoot heroin. I need to run and run and run. I need to scream, stand on the edge of huge canyon and scream until my lungs bleed. I need to hurt. I need to break something, shatter it, hurl it against a wall. I need to be fucked.
I just need.

Soaked

The windows and curtains are open wide so that the rain that is pouring outside sounds and feels as if it is falling directly upon my nude body. Moonlight shines in as well illuminating the scene on the bed. I am flat on my back, laying the wrong way across the bed, my arms stretched above my head, wrists hanging off the edge. His hands and mouth are making me as wet as it is outside so that when he climbs between my legs and slides into me I hardly feel him at all. It's as if I am dreaming it, floating on the surreal quality that has enveloped us. The edges blur so our flesh melts together and I'm lost in the lavendar shadowy haze of the room. The rain is so loud it drowns out the sounds we are making and it is only when I arch my back and cry out into the nothingness that he knows I have cum. I feel him release deep inside of me and his head drops into my neck. My arms have never moved. My wrists still hang off the edge. The moment becomes a part of my history.

Guilty

Criminal
Fiona Apple

I've been a bad, bad girl,
I've been careless with a delicate man
And its a sad, sad world when a girl will
break a boy just because she can
Don't you tell me to deny it,
I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin
What I need is a good defense
'cause I'm feelin' like a criminal

And I need to redeemed to the one
I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Heaven help me for the way I am,
save me from the evil deeds before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand
But I keep livin' this day like the next will never come
Oh, help me but don't tell me to deny it
I've got to cleanse myself of all these lies till
I'm good enough for him
I've got a lot to lose and I'm bettin' high
So I'm beggin' you before it ends
just tell me where to begin

Let me know the way before there's hell to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go
I've got to make a play to make my lover stay
So what would an angel say the devil wants to know

All For Me

La La's caramel body lay next to me in the plush king sized bed barely tipsy from our bar drinks. My tongue swirled around her stiff right nipple as she purred in my ear. It had been a full day of waiting to touch her again and I was anxious to feel her. The low moans and hard nipples were evidence that she was anxious as well. Even more telling was our stop to the pharmacy earlier that evening before the drinks to pick up some lube. When she saw the lube in my hand, a smile lit up her face then she made sure I had something cold to drink for later.

She stripped for me slowly as I kissed her neck, her arms, her nipples her stomach, her thighs. She tugged at my pants then grabbed the bulge in them in anticipation of what was to come. Soon I lay in my boxers and a wifebeater, my hands palming her tight soft ass as our tongues slid around each other.

"Kiss it for me." I whispered. How dare I have such audacity? La La had told me before that giving oral wasn't her favorite thing to do. She had even told me that I maybe shouldn't expect it. She didn't think she was particularly good at it and probably because she wasn't good at it she didn't like doing it. Or was it the other way around...

Her almond shaped eyes stared into mine then she took my lips to hers again. That was a no. My mouth pulled from hers and sucked her left nipple hard. Her body jerked, her hand grabbed the back of my head and pushed it harder against her ripe firm tits. She wanted more. My mouth went to her right nipple and gave her more of a suck, more flicks, another hard suck. My warm hand bounced against her firm ass with a slap. La La stared at me again, her eyes never lost contact as she lowered her body down mine. Her pupils singed mine as she reached into my boxers pulled out my fat cock, brought it to her lips and kissed it softly.

"There's your kiss" She giggled her eyes squinting at me.

Maybe next time I should be more specific I thought. Then her eyes left mine and went to my dick. Her mouth opened wide, her tongue slid from between her pouty lips and snaked around the head of my throbbing manhood. I could feel the air leave my lungs in a sigh. Her warm mouth descended on the head, her tongue swirled.

"oooh yes La La...mmm that's good." I heard myself say. La La worked her mouth lower then back up again. Her hand wrapped around the bottom of the shaft as her mouth worked the head and the top. She bobbed with it, her mouth stiffening my cock. I found myself opening my eyes...when did I close them?...to watch her pretty face sucking me. "Ahhhh" I moaned. She dipped lower trying to take more then pulled up her teeth grazing the shaft a little too much.

My mouth made that sound "fffft" sound you make when you suck air through your teeth "Watch your teeth, baby." I winced. She quickly adjusted and sucked me hard. When I moaned for her to tighten her hand grip she did so with precision, just right. Was she learning? Was I teaching? She looked up watched the joy in my face and smiled. An innocent smile, a pleased smile. "You feel so fucking good." I sighed. Her energy increased alternately sucking me lightly then harder. She slowly disengaged from my excited tool.

"And you don't like doing that?" My eyebrows were raised.

"I did it for you because you look so good and you just...mmmmm, Fury!" La La laughed.

"You know how to do it well, must be natural skills" I was truthfully impressed and felt warm when she blushed.

La La crawled back toward me, I pushed her forward, up further. She was hesitant then straddled my face and slowly descended. My lips kissed her lower lips. My hands held her aloft by her ass.

"Yeah watch yourself while I suck this pussy." I growled quickly pushing the pillows from around my head to give her a better view of me below her. "And see my head beneath you."

My tongue took command of her lower lips. I sucked them slowly. My tongue trailed her slit upward as I heard her moans increase. I slipped my tongue around her clit as her taste filled my mouth. With every lick and every suck her moans grew in intensity. Watching her above me created a hotter fire in me. She bucked her kitty against my mouth, my hands rocking with her squeezing her ass as she came. I moaned as she rode my face cumming for me again some time later. Peeking from between her legs, my lips covered her clit as I sucked it, I saw her eyes open watching herself in the mirror. She watched her fine slim body sitting on my face. She bit her bottom lip as she rode, as if in a trance her hand reached down and held my head. I reached a hand up her body fondling her firm breasts. As I caressed, I flicked my tongue across her clit harder...and watched.

La La's eyes closed, tighter, her mouth opened then closed then opened as she moaned. My tongue flicked faster, my suction increased then felt her moisture slide from her slit as she moaned through her orgasm. Her body fell forward. She held herself up with one hand as she reached to the counter handing me a condom at my behest. I slid it on my stiff cock in no time. I opened the lube squeezed it and rubbed the cool gel against my cock. I rubbed some on her fingers. She dipped her hand below then moaned as the cooling sensation of the lube collided with her warmth. The lube was a way to insure an easier fit for me inside her....

The tight, moist sensation took the head of my cock slowly. La La lowered herself easily.

"Damn this dick. Damn, baby" She stopped herself halfway through her decent of my shaft, balanced herself against my chest with a closed fist and rocked her tight twat against me. Her hips undulated against me squeezing my dick. Slowly she rocked me deeper inside her temple. I reached the end of her tunnel and she quickly popped back up careful not to go too far. Soon we found our rhythm.

"Yeah ride that dick, La La. Gimme that pussy!" I commanded. She bounced on me facing the mirror watching herself fuck me. I stroked her harder from the bottom, she closed her eyes and rode the wave. The wave crashed and an orgasm rocked her body.

We spun her around so she rode me reverse cowgirl, her shapely apple ass clenched as she rode me. My hand slapped her ass while the other fidgeted around her to stroke her clit. Sweat trailed down her back. Her tight pussy gripped my cock for dear life. Her moist warmth held me near and dear. La La looked back at me her face awash with emotion as she came again.

"Cum for me, Fury." She pleaded as she fucked harder.

"Take this dick. You wanted it. Take it." My voice wavered as my strokes increased.

"Yes I want it. I want you to fuckin cum."

I lifted her up, watching her tight wet lips squeeze off of my manhood. She laid back on the bed her clit swollen with arousal, the lips of her flower swollen.

"You getting sore?"

"Yeah a little. I want you to cum, baby." She pleaded. Spreading more lube on her and me, I spread her legs high and wide then guided myself deep into her. Her swollen mistress gripped me tighter. She released a low guttural moan as I slow stroked her. These were long strokes. I'd slide nearly all the way out of her precious temple. The head dangled near close to the exit then slid slowly, carefully, all the way to the end of her. Again and again. I felt the slow massage of her being over mine. I watched her face contort with each inch of me. She opened her eyes wide when I rubbed the third wall. "SHIT! Oh My Gawd, Fury!" She moaned. Then I retreated to the exit once again. Small tingles erupted along my back as I felt the warmth again then I stayed deep worked my hips against her. She came hard and with a whimper from her pretty mouth. I disengaged from our play, panting and sweating.

"You didn't cum for me. I want you to cum, Fur." Her sweet caramel body lay writhing on the bed, her hard nipples and perky breasts pointing toward another galaxy far far away. Her legs were wide, her swollen pussy lips still oozing her milk. Her hands traveled around her body.

I removed the condom and stroked him as I watched her. Her slim fingers tweaked her hard nipples.

"oooh shit you're sexy when you stroke him." She moaned. I begged her to rub her clit for me. "You like that?..." she purred as her fingers circled her clit. I could only murmur a low rumble as my own sensations had taken away my words. Her skin was so soft. Her muscles flexed as she arched her back to show me her fingers working, her ass gyrated. She licked her lips watching me watch her. "Mmm baby I like to see that dick." She moaned as her perfect tits bounced softly as she bucked against her own fingers.

La La lay flat and moaned "Cum on me. Cum all over me, Fury. Give it to me. I want you to cum." She purred as I stroked. She could sense I was nearly there. Her sexy voice traveled with intensity through the small amount of air between us to my ears, down my back and to my loins. I found myself moaning as I hovered over her. "Yes cum on me, baby." Her manicured nails squeezed my thigh as I released across her caramel body. "Yes, cum baby. Yes oooh you're so sexy. Cum on me, daddy."

My body came down, my head stopped spinning. I looked to her. Her sexy body peppered with my climax.

"Ok, now get it off of me..." She smiled.

I had to laugh.

"You asked for it."

"It was all for you. I knew that would make you cum."

"Guess you were right."

I am The Fury...I'm going to get a warm wash cloth and clean her caramel skin.

Tight as a glove

I stood looking at myself in the mirror meditating. Mentally keeping myself from getting rock hard erect. It's one thing to be aroused, but to just walk out with your manhood poking out of your pants...well that's just too much. The moment was a bit much, I knew who waited for me in the next room. Her name was La La. La La is impossibly fine. She's what I can only call Hollywood fine with caramel skin that is smoother than silk, luscious lips and big pretty brown eyes. Her body is slim and curvy everywhere men love it. A round tight ass and perky breasts that stand alert and full. All of that and she was in the next room waiting for me.

La La and I met through a mutual acquaintance, had a hot flirtation and I gave her my number. It took La La seeing me talking to some other beautiful women at a party for her to call me. We left each other's sight, but continued the flirtation. And now we were together alone for the first time.

I took a deep breath and entered the bedroom. The scent of sweet limes filled my nostrils. The candle had done its job well.

La La lay on the plush king sized bed in her skin colored leggings. Her white cleavage baring top revealed that even on her back, her breasts stand aloft. I told you, impossibly fine. She has naturally what women pay to implant. I felt a surge in my pants. Dammitt stay down for a second...

"Let's go get a drink" She purrs from the bed.

"Ok."

Damn!

"Come over here."

"Thought you wanted to go for a drink..." I smile.

"I do. What are you doing over there?" Her eyes bore a hole through me.

I walked over intently and without notice, shame or tension, took her lips to mine. Her lips were softer than they felt. Her tongue warm. My hands roamed excitedly over her body for fear the dream would end. Her ass was soft, firm, malleable in my palms. Her tits soft, perky against my fingers. The surge continued in my loins. I broke the kiss.

"GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" La La screamed with a giggle.

I stepped away and gazed out the window, watched the pretty view.

"Why are you all the way over there?"

"You told me to get away."

I could hear her panting and rolling on the bed. I turned to her. She was staring at me waiting, her legs moving back and forth in anticipation. Fuck the games, I was being too nice again. I charged towards her on the bed, took her lips to mine again. Her hands roamed this time, wrapping around my back firmly squeezing my ass, grabbing my arms. In a blur her leggings were off.

"Take that shit off." I urged as she tossed aside her top and her bra. Her caramel tits with hard chocolate brown nipples called to me. I sucked them each. Playing them against my tongue, sucking them lightly then grazing them lightly with my teeth. Her moans, her urging...echoed in the room. She tasted sweet against my tongue, her nipples were as hard as rock candy against my lips. I tangled my fingers in the sides of her pretty pink thong and gave a tug. La La lifted her ass and let them come off quickly. They flew across to the chair on the other side of the room. I stood back to get a good look. La La lay there naked on that plush bed her skin contrasting with the white bed sheets and cream comforter. Her sex was taut with a slight glisten peeking from between her lips, her nipples erect, her skin had a slight flush to it. Her hips gyrated in anticipation.

"what do you want?"

"You know what I want...come here"

"You want me to taste her..."

"Mmmm baby please...I've been thinking about it since..."

I didn't let her finish the sentence. Perhaps she did, but her thighs collapsed onto my head as I licked her pussy. There was a faint moan muffled by her thighs as my tongue slid to her clit. I sucked and licked her slim pussy. Her clit grew with each lick. As I sucked her, she lost control and started to shiver. My right hand collapsed on her ass and held her in place, the left hand groped at her nipples. As I stroked her nipples and clit in unison, her climax came quickly and hard. I wasn't done. La La laid there gyrating, convulsing from my tongue as I brought her to another orgasm and another then another. My tongue pried apart her tight pussy lips as I tongue fucked her. Her clit throbbed, big and engorged with arousal.

"Yes! Baby! You. Are. The. Fucking. Best! Don't stop baby...shiiitt I'm cumming again. Ooooooooh" She shivered again and again. It was all a set up. I had her firmly in my grasp and she wasn't to forget she had enticed me by phone, by IM, by her flirtatious emails.

My first realization of just how tight she was occurred when I slid two fingers inside her and massaged her g-spot. The mere introduction of two fingers raised her ass from the bed. Tight as a hand in glove. Her tight lips clamped against my fingers as I massaged her to another climax then slowly removed them. She watched as I licked my fingers for her. Then I slowly removed my clothes.

"You want it?'

"Yes Fur. Give it to me. I'm so fucking wet." Her urgency was as palpable as mine. Her nipples were squeezed tight and hard. Her areola miniature versions of themselves from her excitement.

I hid my dick as I slid the condom on. I preferred to keep this a surprise. I'm shameful. I like the look when a woman feels my dick for the first time...I want to see the honest to goodness appreciation of what I am giving just as women like to see the calming rush that washes over my expression when I feel there warmth for the first time.

La La smiled as I rubbed the head of my manhood to her slit. Then slowly I started to enter. Slowly, very slowly. Her moan grew into a loud crescendo. La La was TIGHT, easily the tightest fit I've ever felt. I'd felt a feeling of accomplishment when just the head was in her. The vice of her sweet flower was overwhelming. Her warmth was searing. I'm sure my expression changed for HER. I was in awe of her tight grip. Her eyes squeezed tight as she exhaled deeply. Her nails clawed my back as I reached further inside her. When I reached the end of her tunnel, she opened her eyes wide. With each stroke she gyrated her hips making more room for me inside her. The heat rose from our bodies as we found our rhythm.

"Shit, you gonna stretch this pussy...fuck. Baby mmmmmmm."

"I'm gonna mold you to my dick" I bragged.

"Yes, daddy. Mold this pussy. Shit you feel good"

I bent to suck her erect nipples as we slid together like a well oiled machine.

"Turn around and watch yourself get this dick." I ordered. On all fours La La's ass seemed to erupt from her back like a plump heart. I held her face up by her chin to face the mirrored wall. She smiled as I stared at her in the mirror from behind. Slowly, with each inch, her expression went from a smile to an intense closed-eyed grimace. La La threw her head forward, gripping the pillows as I molded her. She backed up hard against me taking my cock as hard as I gave it to her. I was challenged and dove deeper, harder. The sounds of my hand slapping her ass echoed through the room and probably in the hallways. My hands wrapped around her waist and found her clit. As I slid softly, deeply inside La La, my fingers stroked her button.

"Oh shit, there go those fingers, again." She giggled. Her giggles morphed into dirty talk, screams, moans, coos, encouragement as her next orgasm came hard.

Our sex was a sweaty marathon. Her screams grew so loud I was sure we'd get a loud knock on the door from the police. My moans echoed off of the walls and vibrated in my throat. Her tight sex massaged me with every stroke. Finally, we broke free of each other.

"We're gonna need some lube if we keep shoehorning your dick in me like that." She wiped her face, made notice of her ruined hair weave and gave me a frown.

"Ok, you wanna go get that drink?" I pet her hair.

"ummm....sure." Her voice trailed off as she fell asleep against my chest.

We weren't done, there was a lot more to experience. I was addicted to the fit and I wasn't letting it go until I had to...

The Fury is what you can call me, when it's a tight fit...I mold...

My Bad

I tell you "I can't" but you don't listen. You don't even hear me. You are focused and hungry and needy. You have pushed me back against the entry hall wall and are running your hands down from my neck to my collarbone. I put my hands up on your chest and push you away and it is only then that you focus, and in doing so realize that I am about to slip away. You take one step towards me and in an instant grab both of my wrists in one of your hands, pinning them to my waist. Your other hand reaches inside my blouse, fumbling to pull a nipple free, twisting it in your fingers.

I tell you "No" but you don't care. Your mouth crushes against mine and I bite back. You simply pull away slightly and smile at me. I'm honestly annoyed and needing to take control and leave. But you are stronger than me and have other plans.

I tell you "Stop" and you release my wrists just long enough to turn me around so that I am shoved face first against the wall, your palm pressed tightly between my shoulder blades, pinning me there. You use your knees then to push my legs apart and I feel my skirt being hiked up. When you see my hot pink panties that lace up the crack of my ass you momentarily hesitate and then whisper in my ear that it is going to be a shame to ruin something so sexy.

I tell you "Don't" and you unbutton your jeans with one hand and reach in to pull your throbbing cock free. Still holding me to the wall you stroke yourself against my ass and lean in so that you are heavy against me.

I tell you "Fuck you!" as you thrust into me and momentarily take my breath away. You slam into me from behind, my hands flat against the wall for resistance. You wrap one hand around the front of my throat and the other reaches down between my legs so you can feel your own cock sliding in and out of my cunt.

I tell you "Please" and it sends you over the edge and I feel your hot seed being released deep inside of me.

You release me then and back up, panting. I turn, straighten my clothing, and walk out the door, without saying a word.

I should know better than to unleash the tiger and then expect him to just purr for me.
My bad.

4play

It took nearly an entire weekend before I got some "me time". The exquisite "me" of the double quotes. I had been in heat for more than two weeks with no signs of fading and surely self pleasuring, but I wanted more intimate fantasy time. No amount of self pleasure had helped to "get the edge off" so I needed to get serious about this. LOL

Relaxed in my home office chair I opened several browser windows and initiated several sessions. The first, a hot story by a hotter young female acquaintance, Pree, emailed to me about one of her self pleasuring sessions. I am on occasion a very lucky man.

The second screen was the live video chat sessions of women who strip, masturbate and flirt online. In the free area of the site, you get almost no masturbation, rare stripping and broken flirting as you're usually competing with about 12 other men for attention. However, if you choose the right girl, you will see plenty of half naked writhing, nipple tweaks and even some clit rubbing all to entice you to buy private time. Merely showing tits or well manicured kitty isn't much for a girl who willingly double penetrates herself with large dildos in private shows. On this day, I found such a woman. Amazingly fit and pretty for this site, she sat fully naked in free chat typing on her keyboard with one hand and fingering her slim pussy lips with the other. Perfect visual.

I pulled my manhood from my nylon basketball shorts as it pulsated bobbing slightly in the humid air. I continued my reading as the entertainer in the other screen fingered herself. Pree, in the email story threw her thick leg over the arm of HER office chair as my dick throbbed in my hand. Mmm I liked that visual of her. I stroked myself imagining her pleasing herself. Here we were three people enjoying ourselves. Pree was naked in the chair fingering herself with two fingers as I watched her. Her fine brown form, her wet pussy and hard nipples. My dick throbbed begging to meet her in person, I stroked him harder. My computer chimed with an IM screen popping up. Shocked, I checked the time... 1AM. This could only be one person. I checked the message, it was from La La.

"Mmm I want some dick"

La La is impossibly fine. Hollywood sexy with caramel brown skin, short with tight fit curves. Although we'd associated in person, we'd never had sex. Was everyone horny at once? I reply:

"I think I may have one of those..."

Then went back to stroking my dick as Pree was closing her eyes and throwing her head back.

My mind went to her. Placed my mouth on her clit and sucked as my tongue flicked her clit with light licks. I could taste her. My dick throbbed in my hand as I stroked him even more vigorously. The chat vixen was licking her fingers for me. My IM chimed:

"I bet you do. Can you fuck me from behind, baby? I need you to do that for me."

With one hand stroking my thick dick and my face deep between Pree's thighs tasting her wet pussy, I reply:

"I can fuck you from behind, I'd pull you by your hair and dive deep in you."

And there she was, La La, on her knees in front of me bent over, her fine brown ass waiting for me to give her attention. It's at this very moment that I realize the two of them, La La and Pree are quite a lot alike facially. Like fucking a woman and her younger sister at once. My dick strokes increase in vigor. I want this. I want to be smothered in pussy. Pree spread across my face moaning. My hair tickling her inner thighs as her fingers move in concert with my tongue. La La rode my dick backwards. As I glance over, the chat vixen is pulling her nipples perky watching..us.

I stroke harder as I read the email, Pree releases. She gyrates her hips against my face, her juice on my lips. My IM chimes:

"ooooh, I can feel that dick in me. I want it so bad. I'm stroking this clit for you."

I buck against my hand stroking more.

The sensation of Pree's pussy on my face, La La backing her ass against my dick. It's all too much...I fall to my knees as a well placed paper towel collects my release. Pree climbs from my face, kisses me deeply tasting herself, slaps La La on the ass for good measure and disappears into her signature.

My IM chimes:

"Damn daddy, my pussy is throbbing. I'm gonna cum 4 u..."

My reply reads:

"I wanna slap that ass hard as I'm pounding your pussy. I KNOW u NEED that."

The chat vixen's screen disappears to an automated screen about buying credits. I click back to see her smiling into the screen. I guess she liked what she "saw".

The IM chimes again:

"mmmm I came. That was good. Thank you baby."

Wiping the remnants of my cum from the tip of my pulsing cock, I ball the paper up and make it back to my seat. With a deep sigh I relax and coast on the fantasies.

A virtual 4some, you gotta love the mind...and technology.

I am The Fury...I am a dirty minded bastard.

I'm not wearing any underwear.....

I'm A Woman Man: Episode 8 - The Sweet Flower

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Your treat or mine?

Mmm, lover... a man like you deserves to be pampered every once in a while. You just sit back. You can keep working if you like, don't mind me. I'm just going to walk up behind you, nibble on your ear and kiss the back of your neck. I'll reach down around your waist then and unbutton your pants, untuck your shirt, slip my hands down your lower stomach, and reach down in. That's my good boy, already getting hard for me. I'll take your cock in one hand and reach my other palm around your balls, gently squeezing and caressing. A few more strokes then I'm going to come around and get down on my knees in front of you. I'll keep my grasp on the base of you as I put my lips on the head of your cock. I look up at you as I lick off your sweet pre-cum. I'll slowly take you into my mouth, my lips and tongue tight around you. You moan and slide your hips forward feeding me your cock. You love how wet and hot my mouth is around you. I love how you smell and taste and feel in my mouth. I stroke you in and out, up and down, finding that rhythm that takes you to the edge. I feel your hands weave their way into my hair and I know that I've just given up the control. I let you shove your cock deep, deeper, the tip hitting the back of my throat and opening to take you even further. Fuck my mouth lover. Use me. I love it. I can tell by your groans that you are so close to cumming. I want it. Give it to me. Cum for me baby. You let go and I can feel the cum surging through you. It pours out of you, spilling into my mouth. I drink you in, loving the way you taste. I slow my mouth on you then, letting you come down. I lick my lips, look up at you...and smile.

Tell me.....

Tell me.....

Tell me what you want me wearing when we see each other next...will you have me in jeans with no panties so you can shove them down my thighs as you shove your cock in deep? Or do you want me in a skirt so that you can reach under the restaurant table and tease my clit mercilessly while I am forced to keep from moaning too loudly? Do you want my long hair hanging down loosely so that you can weave your fingers into it as I suck on your cock? Or do prefer it back in a long pony tail that you can grab on to pulling my head back as you fuck me from behind?

Tell me.....

Tell me how you want me....do you want me down on my knees with my wet mouth open and eyes up at you? Or do you want me on all fours like a good little pet? Do you want me on my back with my legs up and crossed at the ankle? Or would you prefer me face down on the bed with my hands pinnned behind my back?

Tell me....

Tell me what you are going to do...are you going to pin me against the wall and take what you want? Are you going to slap my face or my ass? Are you going to call me "beautiful" or "whore"? Are you going to work your huge cock slowly into my ass? Or are you just going to thrust in deep and hard and enjoy my pain?

Tell me....

I love to hear it.

Final HNT: A Retrospective End to this Blog

Hi. If you're just finding this blog, this was the last of 300+ posts in 18 months or so, speaking to the topic of semi-celibacy - whatever that means to you. This is about what it meant to me. Read this post, and perhaps the first post, and any or all in between. Enjoy.

Yes, as I announced in my last post on Monday, I am choosing to end the run of this blog that has meant a lot to me over the last 18 months or so. I'm still reeling from the impact of the first sentence of that post, you have no idea how much, but the right course of action is still clear to me. I need to set aside this blog and devote everything to my family.

I won't be an "internet vandal" and delete the blog, leaving many of you with a broken link. I plan to leave it up as is. I wrote 310 posts in 18 months, so feel free to scroll back down through them. (I set my settings so you can scroll down all the way to the beginning.) I think there are some gems there, but that's just me being vain.

Let me go out on a positive note, with some observations and thanks.

I hope that I added something to this fascinating conversation and community that is the blogosphere. I wrote what I felt, mostly unedited. I expressed myself honestly. I tried to offer some insight into the Semi-Celibate life, some humor, some honest lust.

Unexpectedly to me, I offered quite a bit of exhibitionist photograpy. Who knew that was in me? I didn't. Most fun for me was "January's 31 days of My Dick"! Wow, did I get carried away there or what? Unfortunately, many of those "click-thru" pictures have been found and deleted by my photo hosting site as "unsuitable". Sorry for the broken links. I hope you right-clicked and saved them before they disappeared. :) If not, email me and I can send you a few of them.

You not only saw a lot of me, you learned a lot about me. About my semi-celibate life. About my BOB-of-the-Month club. About my struggles to square my faith life with the flawed side of me. About my porn habits. 6 weird things about me. Etc. You guys know more about me than anyone in my real life knows. And, it's been a privilege to be a blogger.

I got more than I gave, I know that. You fellow bloggers are wonderfully talented people. I am grateful for the blogging technology that gives all of us a chance to live a bigger life than we would otherwise. Thank you Blogger!, and all of the other platforms that you write on. My friends, you have talents that are mostly unknown and unappreciated by your friends and family in your real life. They have no idea who you really are and the amazing things you are capable of. I know you. I appreciate you! All of you out there.

I want to say a special thanks to all of you who I became friends with, in a very real sense, because of this blog. Those of you who comment regularly and email me. I know I will leave some of you out unintentionally in a list, but I want to try.

I appreciate you (in no particular order!) - Kim, Chelle, Bunny, Al Sensu, Lee Ann, Phain, Lime, Jean, Stealth, Tara Tainton, Piper, Shay, Desireous, ZigZag Man, Polt, Kitty, Mom the Minx, Lapis Ruber, Zoot, BadBadGirl, BadInfluenceGirl, The Girl With Secrets, Lushly Me, Sarengetty, Sarah, Always Curious, Sophry, Oksana, Susie, SeaRabbit, Blither, Hot4U,AG, M_o_o_nspells, Ryann Rain, MG, Moosekahl, Vixen, Drama, Anastasia, JeN, Janeway, Always Curious, and my first commenter - Pharoah's Girl.

If I left you out - I'm sorry! - or if you have been a lurker, say hi in the comments. Please? I'd love to have 100 comments on this last post. I don't think I ever got more than 35.

Finally, I want to say something about the title of this blog: Semi-Celibate Erotica. It wasn't just a cute name that I thought up. Is it just me, or did this idea of being married yet frustrated by the "chasm that is your marriage" - as one astute commenter put it - resonate with a lot of you. I almost felt like this could be a team blog. That a lot of you could write excellent posts on the topic of the pain of losing that level of intimacy with the one person you should have it with. If so, I wish it wasn't true. I wish you all happiness with your mate, and great sex to go with it. I hope to find that again, myself.

Peace out, to all of you terrific people - bloggers and lurkers alike.

Finally, I'll leave you with a retrospective of my favorites of my HNT pictures.
























Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday to you. Go. Blog. Be Happy. I wish you all well.

Farewell to Summer, and this Blog

"Dad, when you're sleeping I'm going to stab you in the heart with a steak knife and kill you."

Was my son, glaring at me from with hate-filled eyes, serious? I didn't sleep in the same house with him that night, if that answers your question.

We're having a bad weekend at SCM's house. As bad as it gets without the police or the emergency room or pediatric psychiatric incarceration involved, although we almost got to all 3. I had big plans for the holiday weekend. Family time together. Fun times in good weather. And, of course, it all went straight to hell by Friday night.

Bottom line: when you hear a threat like that directed seriously at you from your own deeply disturbed child, you have a decision to make.

Rather, a decision to finalize. I was heading that way back in May when I announced a Semi-Hiatus for the Summer. I said then that family needed to be attended to. That distractions needed to be minimized while I tuned in. It started with a conversation with that same son that went like this:

Son: "Dad, would you play checkers with me?"

SCM (working on my laptop): "Not now. I need to get some work done." - Not true, I was blog surfing.

Son: "Dad, you never play games with me." Not entirely true, but true enough. I heard him and I got the point.

So, I minimized distractions some. I listened. I tuned in to my family. Or perhaps more accurately, I spent less time escaping on the internet from the deep disfunctionality of our little simple home.

Here's what I know:

My wife and I live in a war zone. We are casualties of that war. The War Zone that is our daily routine has damaged all opportunity to share an intimate life - and is ultimately the cause of me (us!) being Semi-Celibate. If that sounds melodramatic, too bad. It's true. Our best efforts, and the best efforts of countless doctors and medicines and social workers and friends and family, have not resulted in any semblance of a normal life.

Our two boys, both adopted from foster care - sweet and precious and smart and athletic and a blessing in the best of moments - are deeply troubled and disfunctional. They are capable in their worst moments of causing great damage and of hurting themselves, us, or others. I take the threat to my life - not the first time I've heard it - seriously. They are each, in their own way, both troubled and trouble.

(On a side note, or maybe not: Do you remember the day of the shootings by the student at Virgina Tech campus earlier this month? The stark tragedy of that day? Well, I was distraught that day and days following. Not just for the 32 or so students senselessly slain. But for the parents of the shooter. I feel for them. What do you do when you know that your child is capable of harming self and others and that despite your best efforts you might not be able to change that course? What do you do?)

Lastly, here's what I know most:

- I need to man-up like I've never manned up in my life.

- There is no bailing out. No escaping. This is what I signed up for. A committment to my wife for life - for better of for worse. A committment to two judges to raise these two boys, come what may. There is no help coming over the horizon. No one to hand them off to. We're it. We're their hope of a stable life.

- My family does not need a blogging husband/father, escaping selfishly. They need a present one, tuned it with no distractions. They need a praying one, praying for intercession and blessings in their lives.

I'm re-dedicating everything that I have to them, my family. Ruthlessly eliminating distractions. Faithfully giving them everything of me. Changing the course we're on, as best as I humanely can.

I have one more post in me, later this week, to summarize the blog and to say some thanks on my way out. Later....

Update: Obviously, I had a "dark night of the soul" kind of weekend. I just want to add this morning that I love my boys and have endless optimism for them and their lives. But, I am also gravely worried for them and serious about what it will take to keep them out of trouble and help them have a good life. That's what I'm focused on this morning. I appreciate everyone's comments, thoughts, and prayers.